Friday, November 30, 2007

Tribute to a Mum who devoted her entire life to looking after her family and taking care of each of their needs till the last breath she had in this world.


23th November 2007


To my beloved late mother:

You will always be in my heart, wherever you are, wherever I will be. I used to not believe in afterlife, now I want to. Because I want to know that you're happy there. Promise me, Mum, that you will not forget me. For I want to be your daughter again in my next few lives. As much as it is really painful to see you leave, I will live my life to its fullest. And there will be a day where I can relay my life stories to you, somewhere. Wait for me mum, wait patiently for that day to come. It will not be as soon as you hope, but I really want you to wait for me. I never want you to be alone, neither do I want now. When the time comes, I will have many things to tell you. I'll lie on the bed beside you and tell you my life encounters like how I used to everyday after a day of hard work in school. Where you would always listen, giving me opinions time after time.

I know I haven't been a good daughter, I know half your life was spent looking after me, getting me back on to the right track. You never had enjoyed life since you were 19. Maybe you did, cos you once said we're your pride and you find happiness watching us grow up to who we are now. There are many things I have not done and said for/to you. I do have regrets now. But I will not reprimand myself for them. I will live my life meaningfully for you.

I want to tell the world that I have not lost you. For you're not only in my heart but around me as well. I feel your presence, I feel you looking at me.

Forgive me for those tears I shed despite knowing you will not be happy when you see me in that state.
Forgive me for not being a good daughter as one should be.
Forgive me for crying my heart out at the thought of you leaving me forever.
Forgive me for missing you so much.
Forgive me for trying hard to laugh to make myself happier.
Forgive me for isolating myself from others to be with you.
Forgive me for turning down all my friends to feel that I have a company.
Forgive me for attempting to be with you, to be your companion.
Forgive me for wanting to see you everytime when I'm alone.
Forgive me for hoping to see you in my dreams every night I sleep.
Forgive me for feeling dejected now as I type all these.
Forgive me for feeling my heart ache at this moment,
because I still choose to believe that you haven't left me at all.


I cry and cry,
I cry myself to sleep every night,
I cry all the time when everything I see, hear, smell or feel reminds me of you.
I cried my heart out,
hoping that those tears will bring you back to my side.


I can't join you now, Mum. I still have Dad to take care of. I still have many things undone. I still have my dreams to live. Until the day I know that Dad will be taken care of, until the day I accomplished every I had task in my life, until the day I have had my dreams achieved, I will find my way to the realm of yours. Then, I will be able to do those things I didnt have the chance to. Then, I can see you again. And by then, you will never be alone anymore.


I have many things to say, but I will leave it till that day to tell you personally.








As the last chapter of your life ends with tears from your loved ones, our lives from then on begins with a smile in loving memory of you.



I Love You, Mum, from the bottom of my heart.








With undying love,
From your youngest daughter.

yy

Monday, November 12, 2007

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY VAL!

Its supposed to be on the 9th Nov. But I couldnt post and entry on that day. The girl's finally 17 yo. ((: Sorry for being late man. Only manage to come online like, now. SO SORRY VAL.

HAPPY 17th!


lovelove!
---

yy

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Enjoying every single day; without you in my heart.


Give me some more time, I will be able to look into your eyes. And those eyes will tell you that I've stop holding on to that nothing. I will stand tall and be proud that I've let you go. Its been 5 months. I know its not long but somehow it feels like I've been thru a century of mental torture. And I am glad that all will be over and I can be happy again. Perhaps being single can be a blessing, I am enjoying every minute of waiting for the right one to appear. (:


Shocking news that I heard today and the dream I had last night made me feel like blogging. As for what news I heard today I shall keep it P&C. Nothing good or bad. It just decides whether a person can be happier or stay the same. My dream? Haha, sweet dream I'd say. Really sweet. It is possible, but its not the right time. (:


Thursdays are tutorial days. And a very long exhausting day. But I'd pulled thru yet another Thursday! =D While everyone in my class ends the week of school on Thurs, mine will be as usual, FRIDAY. Its okay! I love school. ((:


Alright, I guess thats all I have to say. I need my beauty sleep!







I love the way my heart feels so light and free.

yy

Sunday, October 28, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEP!


I'll always remember the advices you gave last sem. You directed me back on track and I appreciate it alot. Thanks. (: Happy 19th to you.



Love,
adel.

yy


Your voice is heaven,but it hurts.
Your words are memories,but they burn.


Amei is my new-found love. Haha. (: Actually like her songs without realising they're all sung by her. How ironic. Alright. Met Mins at 11+pm yesterday night for study session over at SKCC. Practically laughed thruout the whole session and I was suppose to study my OB. End up looking at her and battled with some irritatin mozzie. Psssssst. Walked to and fro from SKCC and Compass. Bought chips and all from 7-11 as if we're going for a war. LOL. Had lotsa fun with her. Love, Sis!

By the way, my "today" refers to 27th Oct alright. And "yesterday's" for 26th Oct.

Granny's 49th Day death anni today. Slept at 7am yesterday and gotta get up by 10 today. Its okay. Lotsa food over at Gramp's place. Prayed and all. Came home, knocked out immediately and was left on my own while bro went over to TaiKeng to look for mum. Oh, she's coming back, FINALLY.

Gonna perm my hair next saturday and I AM looking forward to it. (: Finally amde up my mind after, say, 3 mths? HAHA. Yes, I'm gonna do it.

Received email from Tatyi-means good news. Will be participating in the upcoming event, TPRawks on 14-16 Nov, as Pack Leader. Yay, means LOA. (: And fun plus more fun. Went down to the lounge on Fri to meet Evonne for lunch and found out that there's actually 1000 over applicants for OTC. -_- Almost half of them are from HTM. Esp, year ones. Whoohooo. Interesting.

Sis will be back in 2 week's time. HAHA. She's having a fever and flu over there. Rashes came out the day before and she was complaining to me over MSN luh. I cant do anything! LOL.


Its freaking 5am now and I'm still here. Just finish watching Harry Potter. Never seems to grow tired of it. Haha. Cy's dressing up as Harry Potter on Halloween luh. TSK. He bought those robes and wands online months ago and just got them this week. And trying to act mysterious, refuse to let me see. NEVER MIND. I'll see how silly he looks on Halloween. ZOUKKKKKK, I miss.


Time to go! Cuzzie's birthday BBQ over at TaiKeng tmr. FOODD =D By right Ronjo's birthday's on 29th. But he insist that we celebrate for him on 28th -_- Spoilt brat.




Heart no longer pound fast in your presence.
Face no longer blush whenever you look my way.
Anxiety no longer exist like before.
Eyes no longer see you as my favourite.
Love no longer find its way to your name.
I have thus, forgotten how much you use to mean to me.
And will be spending no effort reminiscing it.


You'll be just a passer-by from now.
Just a friend I'll greet with a smile. (:



yy

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY PRIS! (:


Haha, I'm not late to blog this before 12am. (: Just came back from val's. Everyone's really tired. But I'm sure we enjoyed ourselves. haha.

Got the bouquet from kovan in the morning and met Val on the train. Down to Somerset to meet Alvin, supposedly, and the birthday girl.

Surprise #1 : Pk was told that Alvin couldnt make it. But he's actually already at Cine. (X

Surprise #2 : Pk was again told that celebration this year would be a simple one and it'll be done over at Kbox. (: quite surprising cos its unlikely we'll make it so simple.

Surprise #3 : Dinny, Sep, BJ, Nibbs and all were already at Val's preparing everything while we stall time. LOL. Pk got conned to Val's place and was told that Val's mummy has something to pass to her. -_- Then suggested to settle their dinner on prawn mee. HAHA. Pk was tricked to Val's place and all jumped out of nowhere.


EH EH, I really understand how detectives do their job when tailing the suspects la. In this case Pk was the suspect I had to follow. LOL. Literally hide after every lamp post, wadever you call them la. Pk almost caught me. Miscommunication between Val and I. LOL.

Alright, I will continue some other day. I'm tired already and it doesnt make things better when we'll be having 3 hours of commskills tmr MORNING. ):

So, this is all for today.


AGAIN, HAPPY B'DAY PK! =D

yy

Monday, October 22, 2007

First day of a new semester.


It was alright I guess. Will just have to get used to the screwed up timetable of mine. I can be independent I realised. (: Anyway, HTMarketing was kinda nice. Lecturer was literally cracking up lame jokes which none of us laughed. -_- But he's trying, hard. HAHA.

Micro lec was next. Joined the other HTM Year 1 group for micro. I almost fell alseep. Chiwen went in with me cos she will only have commskills at 12. haha. Really nice of her. (: I couldnt take it halfway thru the lecture and decided to zao with Chiwen during the break. LOL.

Woke up at 4am yesterday and couldnt get into sleep again. Thus, my tiredness today. I'm gonna sleep now. Goodnight all! (:






You will be just a passer-by.

yy

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Independence.


Ah well, practically slacked at home for the whole of today. Didnt know I was so tired. Gotta get bro's pants changed soon but I'm dreading it. But leaving it there on my table doesnt make it shrink to a size smaller. ):

One more week before school starts. No feelings. Haha. It'll be just school. Anyway, just hope that time table wont be so screwed up that I cannot take my driving practicals. Wanna get it by the start of next year. Should be achievable. hur.

Chomps with peeps tmr. But I dont wanna eat! ): I cannot put on any more weight man. I'm starting to have the urge to do nothing and just nua already. haha.



Goodnight!






You can't stay anymore.
You have to go.

yy

The Lady ♥
ADELINE TAN
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SELF-OBSESSED
Take it away.

Andrea
Andy.
Anne!
Chers.
Dyan.
Eunice.N
Fides
Janice.
Kelsen.
Kong Rui
Kwai.
Maylene
Mins.SIS! (:
PRIS.
Sarah.
VAL.
Vivi
Weilan


Say it right.